Geckos … Geckos everywhere!

I’m not a bug person. So glad that geckos are.

There have been only a few select times in my life that I have seen geckos, and they have accompanied me on my journeys.

Accompanied is not quite the right word, more like … appeared. But it seem like they accompany because of the timing. They show up when I have made major decisions, or maybe I am just aware of them during these times.

These past two weeks are an example of this.

There may be many geckos in Italy, but these are beings that only show themselves to you when you are ready, or when your window of enlightenment has opened. I think … But to have them appear, and understand their significance is different than to have them appear and be dismissed. I think ….

The first gecko I saw was when I got home from Lecce the first time June 4. I almost did not see him, he was fairly transparent on the white wall. First I thought it was a chameleon, but then I was told it was actually a gecko.

Gecko on my wall coming up the stairs
Gecko on my wall coming up the stairs, the wall is actually white, and he was pink-ish

The second gecko I saw was in my first studio – and I am not even sure how I managed to see it, it was so tiny and far away on the ceilings, which were about 12 feet high.

There's a gecko in my studio
There's a gecko in my studio (now everyone will want one)

After that, they seemed to be following me, or making themselves known. They would scurry beside me as I walked in the fields to the beach, or when I walked around the castle. They have been my companion ever since, and I am glad of them.

There is something reassuring about the gecko, for me, not being a bug person … but there is deeper significance and more to geckos  … across cultures they are symbols of transformation and regeneration. Here is a really well written post from Dance of the Spirit.

“As a twilight and night creature, they are among the “dream-keepers” and “shape shifters”. Also, because of their molting, color changes and the fact that they usually mate in the spring months, Geckos represent transition and transformation, death and rebirth, metamorphosis and letting go of old things for the new.  Geckos also stand for our ability to overcome and cope with challenges. They remind us of wondrous emergence from transition as they depict dream guidance, beauty, mystery, communication, mysticism and awakenings.”

Now everyone will want one.

Dancing with Dragons

I dreamt of dragons last night.

Diving in to the water was the only way to make them vulnerable but the water top had a thick membrane that had to be broken through, then many layers of what appeared to be fibreglass before I could get to the actual water.  At first jumping on the membrane didn’t work, and I was being pursued. It was very frantic. I finally found a spot where I could get my heel in and I started peeling away. The dragon was not far behind but he to go through his own hole. I was submerged. I waited.

He came down in to the water and he looked for me.  I didn’t know what to do but from seeing Aaron play his game, I knew there were tools down here that I could use to my benefit. One was dust, one was a cap, and I had to find the mage jars.

I found the cap, I don’t remember where maybe it was floating like a jelly fish.  The cap I discovered had two effects. It turned the dragon, like dry ice, and it make him shrink.  I knew also that the acid of the dragon’s skin would have no effect on me in the water, so I grabbed on to him freely when he came to circle. He had no fire.  He was surprised by that. I had the element of surprise, and I grabbed on to him and shoved the cap over his muzzle.  His eyes opened wide, but he was helpless until he shook me off.  The dragon found his entrance and promised me he would return. 

I stayed underwater where I could breathe freely and swam around exploring.  I found a small door at the bottom of the ocean, near some shells, and I opened it.  Inside were seven hard, and instructions in French. The jars were dated 24 Septembre and there was a 31 Septembre. The instructions basically aid to fill all but one with something, and the one jar, labeled 24 September, the instructions were in bold about this jar, I was to put something else in it. The instructions said that what was put in this jar would be not detected by the enemy, whoever was the enemy, and if the jars were examined, this one would remain innocent and overlooked.  I left fairly quickly and could not read the instructions fully, as the dragon was returning, and I had to find the weapon.

I still had the cap, and I did not find another weapon. 

I chose to go out of the water back in to society, but the dragon was there in human form, and found me.  I still had the cap, and I put it on his head. He struck!  He had two friends with him, an older man, like a father, and a younger woman like a sister or wife.  The dragon became East Indian, and a prince.  The mother appeared, and not knowing who I was, and I was still with him, noted his smaller size. He disagreed, and she asked him to perform a stunt.  He could not do it, and then realized it must have been my cap.  By this time, I went around to the other two and pulled the cap over their heads until they became very small like 12 year olds.

I ran away and the dragon yelled after me that he would find me.  I knew I had to return to the water to find the dust that would enable me to fight while in the air, and those jars.  I remember now that the instructions said the jars would hold water from the ocean, and the dust, it must be the sand from the ocean, maybe that is the dust I needed. Both were plentiful and available for the taking.  From fighting the dragon in the air before I went in to the ocean, I knew it was very difficult, the element was the dragon’s not mine.  I needed some sort of advantage in the air, and the dust was it.

There was another part of the dream, to do with a few members of my museum board, but it is faint now. Bob and Laurie were there, they were going to be in trouble and needed my help, but at the same time, I needed theirs.

I think the preceding dream has to do with the work I am doing on “sisters”, this week’s project here in Otranto. The piercing of the water membrane had to be deliberate and forceful as well as the peeling of the layers until the water was revealed.  I am deliberately working through that in my work – finding the cap available just floating, and then, just now, I am realizing the sand was the magic dust, dried by the air, and so of both elements, and maybe that the water to put in the jar, these are all elements freely available under and in the ocean.

The dragon could represent the conscious mind, the ego perhaps, or an issue – no the air is the conscious mind, and the dragon I feel is the ego or an issue, or a challenge. The cap could imply a finishing, a topping,  a capping of the situation, maybe – that it gets smaller and smaller when the cap is applied, perhaps might work.  The dust is of the earth, practicality, analysis is an air element, but being down down  to earth and covering or sprinkling the dragon with the dust (water earth dried (fire) by air) means to apply a wholistic solution.

Before the dragon in the water episode happened in the dream, actually the reason it started is because I had to choose a video game, for whatever reason, and there was a reel that I could choose from. I didn’t really want to, I remember, but I had to. I’d seen Aaron play this game, and I had chosen it before I knew it, somehow I’d pressed the button.  When it started, I found myself in a changing scenery, first was a desert, and I knew I had to find water. The dragon found me, and there was some sort of battle do with the sky, or in the sky, and I was hurt, but I don’t remember the particulars, I just knew I had to find the water because it would also heal me.

The meaning of the jars and the reason for them being labeled to escape detection, I am not sure about, what is the significance of 24 September, why was there a 31 Septembre, why was it written in french (the language of sorcerers? I thought that was Latin), but the requirement to translate it, and that I had the tools to do so (I speak minimal french), was kinda like Alice in Wonderland.

If I remember anything else about the dream, I will write it, but the significance seemed pretty obvious. It was the first clear dream I have had since arriving here, clear enough that it could have happened yesterday.

Your Perception and My Responsibility

Rosie's Hope watercolor on canvas 3x3
Rosie's Hope watercolor on canvas 3x3

How you perceive something has everything to do with you, and nothing to do with me.

Perception has always been a fascination of mine. How one perceives about an external, or even an internal source of stimulation seems so complex on the outside, but it is, in fact, a really simple concept. This is the realm of the psychologist, and I am not one, but I am an observer and a student of human nature, most especially my own.

Perception was how, with the help of a psychologist, I got myself out of a huge life threatening depression, without drugs. It took many years of course, these things do not happen overnight, but it made me more aware and helped me to apply these principles to other areas of my life. These were valuable lessons.

It all boils down to the fact that our perception is one of our own responsibility.  Only we are responsible for what we think. And what we think and how we react can have everything to do with ego, and the incumbent “entitlement” and “expectation”.

A friend said, “PERception is skewed with DEception to create MISperception. Ie….Trompe le’oiel. I perceive it to be an opening to prevarication or quibbling.” And I do agree with that. The DEception part has to do with our own self – our ego which is full of expectations and entitlements (I deserve, I expect) but the DEceptive part is … are we really entitled? do we really deserve? …

if we go with his example of Trompe l’oeil (an artwork that looks so real it fools the eye), the painting is what it is, a highly realistic painting. The viewer may not know it is a painting and therefore expects it to be real. Once they find out it is a painting, they may feel amazement, dismay, admiration… a whole host of feelings. Some may even be angry at being fooled!  But the feelings are from the person themselves as they relate themselves to the painting.

Another person disagreed and said, “Unless you rovided(sic)  the subject for perception with bias or prejudice – ie. how it is presented.”

No, actually that is not true. There is a distinction between how I present something, and how you perceive something. My presentation is dependent upon how I perceive something and then react, according to my own prejudices, insecurities and emotions. This is my realm of control. Your reaction to what I present is in your realm of control. You react according to your own prejudices, insecurities and emotions. You react according to what you perceive as your entitlements, and your expectations. Are you entitled to be responsible for what I think and say? No, you are not. Am I entitled or do I deserve to be responsible for what you think and say? No I am not.

If you tell me that your reaction is based on how I present it, then you are giving me your power. You are giving your power over your own mind and heart over to me by saying that you would not have reacted in such a manner if I hadn’t done so and so. For example, a man (or woman) subject to anger issues hits his/her spouse, this is one of the most common statements: if you hadn’t done so and so, I would not have hit you. That is the paradox when someone uses force over another. They are afraid that they have lost their emotional power, and want it back physically, when they have actually given that power away. The receiver of the abuse has taken on the responsibility of the other’s emotions and given their power away, that of responsibility to themselves. This responsibility includes acknowledging what is rightfully theirs, and what is not.

Every time I get angry over something, I have to opportunity to look at my ego, and what I believe my entitlements are and what are my expectations of the situation or the other person. It can be a very enlightening and profound experience, and what a gift I give myself!

It doesn’t matter what I say, you can choose to be offended, you can choose to be anything! Your choices are dependent on what YOU believe, what YOU agree with, what YOU are comfortable with, they have nothing to do with me. Of course you can say to me that you are offended with whatever I did. That is completely valid – but to then pass judgment and/or punish shows me much about you. Your judgment and punishment tells me that your ego expects that I will be hurt by these actions, and somehow you feel entitled to this sort of retribution. Judgments and actions made to “punish” me for YOUR feelings is something that I CHOOSE to ignore, because I have no power over it.

My favourite saying these days is “Not my problem”. lol!

Every situation is neutral. Every single one.

A person can do whatever they want but if you do not react, or choose not to react, or choose your reaction, instead of just “reacting!” then you will, in my opinion, have gained awareness of yourself.

But… there are layers of awareness – these layers have to do with one’s own beliefs.

You will never control another person, and why would you want to? Someone who wants to control another, whether through religion or philosophy, tells me that that person really is not comfortable with what they believe and want someone else to believe it too, to back up their own “yes, it does make sense.” We are social animals. We all want to belong to something or someone – our ego drives us to associate with certain groups to fit in, or to give security. We seek out groups that fill a need. Remember outside of food and shelter and essential clothing, need is an ego affair. Anytime you say you “need” something, that is your ego talking! Your spiritual self “knows”, it does not “need” (in my opinion). Your higher spiritual self does not need to convince anyone, it does not need to control anyone. Your spiritual self understands and gives space and let’s a person walk beside them rather than be handcuffed together or drag the other behind.

Imagine how much control you would have over your world, choosing what to react to and what not to react to. The world is a big place and there are so many things that can tie you up in knots and create stress. Start eliminating those, again choices!, and enjoy a freer and unencumbered life. Having free will and the ability to choose is a scary thing for some people. They’d rather be told what to believe and what not to believe, what is right and what is wrong. As soon as you rely on an external source for judgments, you have given over control to someone else.

Regarding this post, the idea that you are responsible for your own perceptions –  these are words on a page. It is not important to me whether you do agree or disagree. It is enough that you read and considered.